Broaching the topic<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
With 24-hour news, all-day social media and plenty of other chatter, it\u2019s impossible to shield kids from terrible events. But experts recommend that before you jump into conversations, figure out what your youngest child knows and understands at this point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou might want to offer an introduction like, \u2018I wonder if you\u2019ve heard or seen x<\/em>, y<\/em> or z<\/em>,\u201d Pelc says. Tere Hern\u00e1ndez-Acosta, an expert in education media, adds that this can also help parents know what a child might be misunderstanding <\/em>as well.<\/p>\n\n\n If they\u2019re not familiar with the event, Pelc says parents can still consider bringing up the subject, especially if the event has happened close to home or touches upon an important core value for your family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOpen with, \u2018Something important is happening in the world, and we\u2019d like to talk to you about it,\u2019 to kick-start the conversation,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But keep the conversations brief, allowing time for your child to process what they\u2019ve heard and return to you with insights or questions. \u201cThe idea is that some of these conversations will unfold over several days, weeks or even months,\u201d Pelc says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Exactly how much detail you provide depends on the child\u2019s age. We asked the experts for advice tailored to each general age group…<\/p>\n\n\n\n Hern\u00e1ndez-Acosta says that children under seven aren\u2019t developmentally capable of understanding the entire issue, and therefore have difficulty distinguishing reality from fantasy. That can cause confusion and a lack of perspective on the importance of events.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhen very young children see multiple video clips, even from different perspectives of the same event, it can appear like it\u2019s recurring multiple times with different people,\u201d Pelc says. For instance, she notes that some children who constantly watched 9\/11 coverage believed that planes were crashing all over the US and hurting more people. \u201cIt can be traumatising.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n If young kids are <\/em>aware of the event, they might not have questions but instead respond with fearfulness, a desire to stay close to caregivers, irritability, crying, or physical symptoms such as stomach aches. Pelc recommends using simple language while keeping up normal routines.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For instance, she recommends saying something like: \u201cSomeone went into a school and hurt some students and teachers. It is very sad. How are you feeling? How can I help?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Primary-aged children (up to age 11) also need basic concepts but can understand more nuance. And they might be more likely to ask questions. These could be about motive (\u2018why?\u2019), detailed events (\u2018how?\u2019) and outcomes (\u2018what happened to them?\u2019). <\/p>\n\n\n\n Pelc says parents of primary-aged kids could say something like: \u201cYou have a lot of great questions, and it can be scary and sad to know that someone has hurt and killed these children and teachers. And what I want you to know is that the adults of that school are working hard to answer those questions. How do you feel about what is happening?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Older, secondary-aged children (teenagers) are likely getting their information from outside sources like social media and their friends. So even though they might not reach out to parents to help them process, experts advise that Mum and Dad help them anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSometimes children put together pieces of information they overhear,\u201d Hern\u00e1ndez-Acosta says. \u201cSome of the information may be factual, and other pieces of information may be opinion-based. So it\u2019s important to address what information they have first.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Start by asking them what they\u2019ve read, heard or seen. Hern\u00e1ndez-Acosta also recommends asking how the event has made them feel, then showing empathy to validate those feelings, no matter what they are. And if the news turned out to be a misunderstanding? Here\u2019s our guide to help kids understand (and challenge) fake news.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n Upsetting current events often bring out emotions in children related to a couple of different issues: fear for their own physical safety, and confusion when the \u2018rules\u2019 of their world \u2013 for instance, that schools are supposed to be safe or that certain buildings, countries or transport could never be attacked \u2013 are broken.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For instance, traumatic events like shootings, extreme weather events or a terrorist attack could make a child feel like something like that could happen to them. Pelc advises parents to provide messages that make children feel empowered and prepared. For instance, you could review or practise a safety plan, or discuss how parents are being kept safe at work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But above all, reassure them that caregivers and other adults are there to keep them safe and provide support. \u201cReally reinforce that their environment is safe, and adults are there to take care of them,\u201d Pelc says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Turbulent events that make children question what they\u2019ve been taught about right and wrong can be more difficult to process. Pelc says parents should start by talking about emotions \u2013 both the child\u2019s and the people involved in the event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Hern\u00e1ndez-Acosta advises that when discussing why people behaved the way they did, parents should help children consider various perspectives \u2013 just to make clear that feelings are not facts. Tell kids that without knowing a person\u2019s background or experiences, it\u2019s impossible to understand the motivation behind the behaviour.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then, show kids how to use their own feelings to cope with an event. \u201cHelp them use their emotions to shift from a sense of helplessness to feeling like we could move toward change,\u201d Pelc says. \u201cHelp them see that things like their own anger can signal an injustice or provide a catalyst for action.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Empowering children to make a difference helps as well. Writing a card to people affected by the tragedy, reading about the underlying issues behind the event, or even joining a peaceful protest will help kids use their emotion to drive action \u2013 and that will help them cope.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHelp them identify the problem,\u201d Hern\u00e1ndez-Acosta says. \u201cThen help them think about what they can do to get over that hump.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n For advice to help kids deal with other challenging topics, including eco-anxiety<\/a> and cyberbullying<\/a>, check out the rest of the Nat Geo Kids Parent Hub<\/a>. Plus, sign up to our free newsletter <\/a>for family-friendly activities, good news and helpful articles straight to your inbox.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Most children will eventually process these upsetting current events. But Pelc advises parents to be on the lookout for deeper signs of distress, like stomach aches, aggressive behaviour or isolation. If children seem especially sad or angry, Pelc recommends talking to the child\u2019s school or a health professional.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Upsetting current events often come out of nowhere and leave parents little time to figure out how to help their kids deal. So, it\u2019s okay to let them in on a little secret: you\u2019re human, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cParents feel like they have to have all the answers and know what to say,\u201d Pelc says. \u201cIt\u2019s okay to take a moment before we talk to our kids to figure out where we are and manage our own emotions first. Parents need support, too.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"how](\"https:\/\/cdn.creatureandcoagency.com\/uploads\/2023\/08\/HowDoYouTalkToKidsWhenTheNewsIsScary-1.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\nHow do you talk to kids when the news is scary?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Young children aged less than 7<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Primary-school-aged children<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Secondary-school-aged children<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Helping your kids feel safe<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Moving forward<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\nHow do YOU talk to kids when the news is scary? Share your experiences in the comments below.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Written by Angela Hatem. Lead image \u00a9 Seth Herald \/ Getty images.<\/strong> All others \u00a9 <\/strong>Adobe Stock.<\/h6>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"