{"id":303030,"date":"2023-11-22T17:38:55","date_gmt":"2023-11-22T17:38:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.natgeokids.com\/uk\/?post_type=parents&p=303030"},"modified":"2025-11-06T17:08:13","modified_gmt":"2025-11-06T17:08:13","slug":"help-kids-with-new-years-resolutions","status":"publish","type":"parents","link":"https:\/\/www.natgeokids.com\/ie\/parents\/help-kids-with-new-years-resolutions\/","title":{"rendered":"How to help kids stick to their New Year’s resolutions"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A child\u2019s New Year\u2019s resolutions to do better in school, read more books<\/a> or clean their room sound great \u2013 until they’re completely forgotten in a few weeks. That\u2019s why mum of two Kathleen Landerholm came up with a goal the whole family could get on board with: two new desserts every month.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kathleen assumed the dessert resolution would simply be a fun family activity, but it ended up becoming much more. \u201cI think Ellie and Erik have learned how to break up a big goal into smaller increments and keep track of our progress.\u201d says Landerholm. Her kids, aged 10 and 8, are now planning a family book club.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Landerholms\u2019 family project is a great example of how parents can harness the tradition of New Year\u2019s resolutions to teach children how to set and meet goals. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJust introducing kids to this idea \u2013 thinking about where we want to go and keeping our attention on what we want \u2013 is pretty useful,\u201d says William R. Stixrud, a neuropsychologist and co-author of The Self-Driven Child.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why get kids to make New Year’s resolutions?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

While many adults make New Year\u2019s resolutions every year, child and family resolutions are less common. That might be a missed opportunity, says Philip David Zelazo, a professor at the University of Minnesota\u2019s Institute of Child Development.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThis is a nice context for parents to teach their kids some really important things about how to make a plan for the future, set a goal, and then actually achieve it,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Setting and keeping a family New Year\u2019s resolution builds what psychologists call executive function. This ability is linked to a lifetime of positive outcomes, including preschool readiness, academic achievement, career success, and overall life satisfaction. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But because children\u2019s brains are still developing, complex activities like goal-setting can be challenging.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why experts say parents need to provide appropriate support to help children achieve their goals – and not get frustrated when things don’t go as planned. Here\u2019s how to get started\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The science behind setting and keeping goals<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Keeping a New Year\u2019s resolution is hard for adults \u2013 and even harder for kids, Zelazo says. That\u2019s because it requires complex links between the prefrontal cortex, which handles goal-setting and progress-tracking, and other brain areas, such as the amygdala, where our gut-level emotions reside. These connections don\u2019t fully mature until well into adulthood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For instance, setting goals requires the ability to imagine yourself in the future. And while this skill begins to emerge around age five, it doesn’t really take off until kids are well into primary school. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cKids, especially preschoolers, are really drawn in by what\u2019s going on in the present,\u201d says Cristina Atance, a psychology professor at the University of Ottawa. \u201cEven the short-term future, like \u2018after dinner\u2019, doesn\u2019t make much sense to them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And while many five-year-olds can <\/em>plan for the future, Atance says they only begin doing it unprompted at about age eight. That\u2019s also the age when other executive function components blossom, such as working memory \u2013 the ability to keep a goal in mind while you\u2019re working on something else. <\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"new<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

The ability to make complex plans with interdependent steps takes even longer. It fully emerges at around age 12, according to 2013 research published in the journal Psychology and Neuroscience.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, if your kids seem to conveniently forget your family\u2019s New Year\u2019s resolution, it\u2019s not because they don\u2019t care. They just don\u2019t have the mental architecture to think about many different things at once.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cInitially it really is going to be an adult who has to help children set the goal and then help them monitor it along the way,\u201d Atance says. \u201cAs kids get older, they start to set these goals themselves and need less support from their parents.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Help kids stick to New Year’s resolutions<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

A shared family New Year\u2019s resolution is a great opportunity to help children develop their executive function skills, but there\u2019s one catch: You can\u2019t force your <\/em>goals on your children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Martin Oscarsson, a psychologist at Stockholm University and author of a 2020 study<\/a> on New Year\u2019s resolutions, says that externally provided resolutions don\u2019t actually teach kids executive function \u2013 and they also tend to fail.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why tying a resolution to something your family cares about will help everyone stay on track. \u201cIt can be a cool activity to do with your kids, to sit down and ask, \u2018What\u2019s important to you?\u2019\u201d he says. \u201cYou want your resolutions to be in line with your values as individuals and as a family.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

Looking for more parenting advice, alongside good news stories from around the world and fun, family-friendly activity ideas? Then sign up for our Family Round-Up newsletter here<\/a>!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n


Even if those values don\u2019t quite line up, you can still find a common goal. For instance, if parents are concerned about their long-term health but kids are worried about the health of the planet<\/a>, that family might resolve to eat two vegetarian meals a week or bike more<\/a> instead of driving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf you\u2019re doing a chart, write your values up at the top. Then if the going gets tough, you can remind yourself why you started,\u201d Oscarsson says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to set good goals<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

To set your family up for success, Zelazo advises making your family resolutions SMART. That means each goal should be…<\/p>\n\n\n\n