11 cats that totally ruined Christmas!
Meet 11 felines feeling anything but festive…
Forget Mog the Cat, these pesky pets are doing their best to put the “no” in Noël…
Cat owners. You know what it’s like. The tree is up, the smell of freshly-baked mince pies is wafting through the kitchen, and the level of Christmas spirit in your house has reached peak levels…
That is, except for one person. One disgruntled family member who can think of no better time to spread some Christmas HAVOC.
It is of course, the cat.
Perhaps it’s the way they’re sitting, the way their tail’s twitching, or the way they attacked you when you tried to force them into those oh-so-cute kitty antlers… But something tells you, this Christmas will not be merry – not if the cat can help it, anyway.
1. The tree ninja
That tree you bought? It’s on its side. And those decorations? Consider them a distant memory, because half of them are wedged under the sofa and you don’t want to know what happened to that expensive one your mum loves so much…
2. The wrapping menace
Cats are fickle creatures – earlier they paid you no interest whatsoever, but now the wrapping paper’s out, they’re all over you like a rash. We’re not sure what they enjoy more, standing inconveniently on the paper as you try to fold it or ripping and biting the corners of the parcel that just took you 20 minutes to wrap…
3. The box fiend
If Christmas is a time for giving, then we always know what to give the cat. What is it about the critters and their little bunkers of corrugated paper? You bought them that pricey sheepskin bed last year which they’ve slept in all but once, but since unwrapping that DVD player all they’re interested in is that four-walled brown square! Cats are weird, eh?
4. The light lover
Not only is this something of a fire hazard, it’s also downright annoying. Tangled Christmas lights really are much harder to unwravel when there’s a cat coiled in the middle of them.
5. The “present” giver…
We don’t know if you’ve ever noticed, but a cat’s idea of a good gift leaves a lot to be desired. A dead robin (at least it’s sort-of Christmassy…) or an unpleasant surprise in your shoe will be the best you can hope for this Christmas.
6. The Christmas-cheer crusher
To Christmas-loathing cats, watching your owners enjoy themselves swaying and singing along to ridiculous Christmas carols only adds another strike to that letter they’ve been threatening to send to the RSPCA.
7. The guest assailant
You think you get it bad having to put up with Aunt Tracey for one whole day a year, but at least you don’t have to sit on her lap all afternoon as she repeatedly flattens your hair down to your scalp and releases sprouty smells from under her skirt. Now do you see why the cat ends up attacking her before the Queen’s speech?
8. The turkey taster
That hair you just found in your food? That’ll be from when I licked the turkey while your back was turned…
9. The present wrecker
That cool new jumper you got? That t-shirt you’ve been looking forward to wearing? You’ve only had it a mere five minutes and it’s already been covered in fur and subjected to 20 minutes of intense clawing, not to mention the chewing…
10. The scratcher
Thinking of leaving presents under the tree this year? Do so at your own peril! That space between the floor and the bottom branches is no longer safe. Not only is the trunk a fantastic scratching post but it’s also apparently the perfect spot to mark one’s territory… Yes you know what that means. All presents, gift bags and bow-topped parcels will be destroyed without warning. Sigh.
11. The celebrity
We’ve all come to know and love Mog the Cat, who spectacularly almost ruins Christmas in this year’s Sainsbury’s ad, but we can’t help but wonder if they’ve just given a nation of Christmas-hating cats more fuel for the fire. What if Mog’s antics become fashionable and they all want to have a go? Beware cat owners, you have been warned!